Sunday, February 26, 2017

My Skincare Routine

I didn't realize I have sensitive skin. I am always suffering with redness on my face due to sun or acne or sometimes both; I also sometimes have acne or two when it's time of the month. In short: my skin is sensitive, but not acne-prone.

And I have dry skin.

A few months ago, we moved to somewhere near my school, and that's good; I can get more sleep. I brought along my skincare: it was mostly Sariayu milk cleanser & toner, Clean & Clear facial wash, Nivea Soft Creme, Emina Sun Protection, and my holy-grail product for my dry, chapped lips: Vaseline Petroleum Jelly.

But weeks later I ran out of the milk cleanser & toner and I was too busy to go to the supermarket to get Sariayu one, so I tried Viva Bengkoang milk cleanser & toner. I also tried Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser. The result is amazing: I didn't get any redness. But here's the thing: when I used milk cleanser, I used it 3-4 times until I made sure nothing left--makeup, dirt--on my face. And I felt some ache tingling near my nose, and I found out some skin there was flaking off.

So I decided to change my skin routine altogether; more hydrating, more moisturizing for my skin, as it became very, very dry.

Back when we were living in the old house, I usually used two powders; loose powder to blot the oil left from my moisturizer & sunblock, and two way cake powder to cover my redness. I didn't have much problem with that, considering my skin was dry and I use two different powders.

Now? I didn't even use powder anymore.

Anyway, my skin is still dry and sensitive, and it was breaking out a few months ago, due to Secret Key First Treatment Essence--I think I'm allergic to something in it, and none of my previous skincare worked; including my sunblock, Emina Sun Protection. Oh, I still used Cetaphil.

So this is what I use these days, hoping my skin will get better:

  1. Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser. My holy grail. Oh, I don't know what I'd do without this! When my skin was flaking off and dehydrated and everything hurt, this cleanser didn't disappoint me.
  2. Biore Cleansing Oil/Nivea Micellar Water. I'm a huge believer in double cleansing, and it made my life even easier, and the theory of double cleansing makes sense. I didn't use heavy make-up to school--only some DD Cream, eyebrow pencil, and lipstick, but I almost run out of the cleansing oil, and I always wanted to try micellar water, so, yeah. The micellar water is not so bad--it's actually good and didn't make my skin feel harsh. The cleansing oil is even better, but I already bought two bottles of Nivea micellar water, so I think it'd be quite some time to purchase another bottle of Biore cleansing oil.
  3. Hada Labo Gokujyun Lotion. I really, really love Wardah hydrating toner, but unfortunately due to my incident with Secret Key Essence, I am left with tiny little bumps on my face after every time I used it. So, I decided to try new toner: and this one is my new love. I love how it made my skin feel more hydrated and supple.
  4. Hada Labo Gokujyun Milk. Okay, the lotion and this are the ultimate duo, even though I don't really like the milk. 
  5. Skin Aqua Mild. TBH, I didn't really like HL Gokujyun Milk; I don't know why. It makes my face look greasy and oily (although it's not), so I was hoping Skin Aqua could also replace my day cream as I have another moisturizer as my night cream. Well... needless to say, I still need the Milk around, because Skin Aqua is hydrating enough for my skin. But I love it! It's creamy, unlike Parasol, the one I was using after my skin acted up with my Emina Sun Protection.
  6. Hada Labo Gokujyun Night Cream. I've just started using this, and just like any Gokujyun product, I love this, even more than the milk. It makes my skin glow in the morning. 
  7. Evian Face Spray. OK, I also just bought this. It's refreshing enough and make my skin less red. Plus, it makes my face look less cakey if I put on some foundation.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

his hands

his hands are bigger than mine:
and i offered a handshake
his hand was pressed against mine,
it was cold

and late at night
i stared at my fingers
and wondered

why his hands are always cold

Saturday, February 4, 2017


fall for me
love me
treasure me
fight for me
why do i have to beg
isn't it your time
fight for me already
unless you want me to disappear
then i'll do it

Thursday, February 2, 2017

people's back

sometimes i wonder how my back would look like.

how people would go and say, "oh that's aul." or if they get the wrong person, they'd say, "oh sorry you remind me of someone."

sometimes i wonder if some people have gotten used to see my back.

Thursday, January 12, 2017


remember when i wish for an exception?
remember when i long for someone's warmth?

it is the beginning of 2017
and in 2016 i met so many beautiful people
with beautiful smile
and i fell in love
so easily
so easy i could always trip

i met someone beautiful
and young
and again, i wish
for an exception

but this time,
i just let it go
with just a smile
because they looking at me with those
beautiful, and warm eyes
i could not hope for anything more

Monday, December 26, 2016

2017 resolutions

- graduate
- have clear skin so i don't have to wear any make up
- eat healthy
- work out
- get enough sleep
- get a part-time job before graduating
- move out after graduating
- get a decent job
- write 
- read more
- sell more books

Saturday, December 24, 2016

one day

one day
i'll be pretty
one day
i'll be good at writing
one day
i'll have courage
one day
i'll ask someone to love me
one day
just not